Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
