Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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