hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
