Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
PANTIES FOUND
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