i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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