can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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