You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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