A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
