I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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