I'm gonna have a badass scar
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I bet he comes in French.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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