My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
