I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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