I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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