you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
