Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
