Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
