The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
