): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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