i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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