Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
