I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
