i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
