My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
