im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
