i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think your dad took our porno
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
