I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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