i just wanna soil my oats bro
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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