I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
