You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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