either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
