A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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