Kiss
Puke
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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