We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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