is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
