Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
