so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
