anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
