North Korea, Best Korea!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
