Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
