Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You had me at "let me see your balls"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
