is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
