clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I look better un-naked...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
