Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
