I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
