were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
