oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
