Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
