it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
