wrigley field is MILF paradise
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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