bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
